Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Day 10: Finding a workout buddy

 I've carried the tag of being a short scrawny Asian kid almost my entire life. Though I've made some gains in the height department the last several years, I am still quite the twig.

On top of my 100 day rejection challenge, I also dedicated myself to a consistent workout program this summer. My issue has always been consistency. But now depression is a thing of the past. I have no excuses to not get my ass to the gym everyday.

Of course, by telling you guys about working out, I also hope you guys would keep me accountable for this as well. My blog is getting a consistent 200-300 page views a day and I have yet to make my first video! Having so many people just reading what I'm doing gives me the extra motivation, so thank you guys once again!

For today's challenge, I decided to find a workout buddy. However, not just anybody in the gym, I will approach the biggest muscle guy there! However, what happened today is a honest reminder that I have a long way to go in developing social confidence. I guess approaching the biggest guy in the gym is the equivalent of approaching the hottest girl in the bar. Today's challenge turned out to be the toughest one to date!

As you may have noticed, I am probably quite the heavyweight at the gym

The nerves began to appear even while I was still working out. Just thinking about what I was about to do made my stomach turn. I guess I am just really not confident and self-conscious when it comes to approaching bigger guys. I think this irrational fear stems all the way back to when I first began playing basketball. Always being the smallest guy on the court means that I am often the victim of ridicule, exclusion and bullying. I remember how I always wanted to be treated like an equal on the basketball court, but that didn't happen til...well... much later. (THANKS ALOT PUBERTY...YOU ARRIVED QUITE FASHIONABLY LATE ).

When I spotted this huge Asian dude with tats all over his arms, the nerves got worse. I ended up observing his workout routine and pretended to work out and stretch for twenty minutes. I learned a big lesson here too. The longer you hesitate and put it off, the worse it gets!

Oh yes, I also need to get better at ball. It's sad how this is the sport I've played since middle school yet I still suck

I ended up going upstairs to watch a game of basketball to calm myself down a bit. At that point, I made up my mind. I have to go through with this. No matter how bad of a shape I am mentally today, I will keep calm and carry...err get rejected I mean.


So I finally approached him while he was doing some bicep curls. He signaled for me to wait up when I went up to talk to him. When I finally got a chance to speak,my mind went blank and words just flowed out of my mouth .

"Hey, I saw you are pretty deezed up here, I'm wondering if you can be my workout buddy?"

He looked startled for a sec.

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by workout buddy?"

I really wanted to leave at that point, but he asked me a question, now I have to explain things...and when I'm nervous, things just doesn't come out of my mouth right.

 "Like, ummm, we can go work out together at a time..and um stuff."

"I iunno man, I don't exactly have a fixed workout schedule."

He was the nicest guy. He went on to give me some advices on how to bulk up. But during the whole conversation, I just wanted to leave. Over the last ten days, I figured that a direct rejection was not the scariest thing, but to carry on with a conversation when you know you are full of shit. I am HORRIFIC at being articulate and confident when I'm in a position of vulnerability, and it is definitely something I need to continuously work on.

Today I'll be doing some shooting for the first video at Derek's. I hope I got much better on camera since that awkward pitch video. I guess we shall all find out soon. :)

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