Day 9: Learning about love from the elderly

After attempting (somewhat successfully) of being epic yesterday. I decided to switch gears a little to something a bit more personal and heartfelt.

I bet you guys are all anxious to find out what exactly did I do yesterday. But unfortunately, I have to make you guys wait a bit longer. I've videotaped my rejections yesterday thanks to, once again, the help of Wendy (she has been tremendous to me early on, and in all honestly, I could not have gone this long without her help), and currently the video is in post production mode. I do plan to do some heavy marketing for this very first rejection video. Depending on the reception I get from this first video, I will get a better sense of where this project is heading. Once again, I really don't expect what I'm doing to go big. I mean, there are definitely funnier, cooler and more entertaining stunts out there. I can guarantee you there are tons of guys out there that pulled off similar things much better than I did. But after getting 1.5k views on my pitch video alone, it's easy to be optimistic. I guess what I'm doing may have a more personal appear to it, so we'll see.

I've been single since...well, let's just say a very long time. So for today's challenge, I went around to a number of elderly couples sitting at coffee tables to get some girl advices!

This is actually the first time I tried to engage in a longer conversations with strangers. So I guess in a sense, this challenge is out of my comfort zone a bit more than the rest. But elderly people are friendly and less intimidating, especially in a conversational setting. So it is a complete change of pace from yesterday.

I general approached them and asked if they have a few minutes for a conversation. I guess the elderly by the coffee tables are often approached by salespeople trying to make a sell. So I would usually promise them that I am not there to sell them anything. I guess I looked really genuine today, there were zero rejections! I did succeed in my challenge today though. I'll get back on that a bit later. ;D

1. A group old ladies at Mcdonalds

When I sat down and promised to just have a conversation, they looked rather startled at this odd request, but nevertheless they let me sat down to join them. When I started to ask about their first love, they had the biggest smile on their face.

And their advice? Trust is the biggest thing in a relationship. Look for the right girl and stick to her.

2. An elderly Greek couple by Tim Hortons

This couple has been married for 53 years! They told me stories of how they immigrated from Greece back when they are 16 or 17. They met through family friends when they are in their early twenties and have been together ever since.

While their love is story was not anything like Titanic, it was really nice to hear how they stayed together as a couple despite all the hardship they faced. They talked to me for 20 minutes. I can tell how much both of them enjoyed sharing their story with this complete stranger.

But when I asked if they would like to take a photo with me, they refused. BUT HEY, that's today's rejection!

3. An Asian couple by Mcdonalds

We chatted in English but switched to Mandarin when they realized I speak Chinese too! This conversation took a different spin, the conversation diverged from finding love to finding the love for God.

I am not a Christian, but neither am I atheist. I tend to have a very open mind when it comes to the bigger philosophical questions of life. They preached me about Christianity for 20 minutes and I joined them for a bit of a prayer. Of course, I don't agree with everything they said. But it's really a unique experience to learn  this different perspective in life. They are convinced it was an act of god that brought me over to them yesterday to have this conversation. I am just glad to made their day.

Once again, I got refused for a photo. I guess elderly people aren't the most comfortable in taking photos with strangers.

4. My own grandparents...

The conversations I had with the elderly made me realize how much I miss my grandparents. They were the ones that raised me in my childhood and they used to be my favorite people period. Though I did visit them in China last year, because of what I was still going through at that point, they did not see me at my best.

When I called them, my grandma was so cute, she kept on saying how she is probably not cool enough for me cause she's old, and of course, when I mentioned what I'm doing in the summer, they joked that they will be my biggest fans.

When I asked my grandpa about how how he met grandma, I knew I was in for a story. My grandparents are probably THE model couple. As far as I know, they trust each other to no ends, they never fight and they are the cutest old couple you'll ever meet. However, it was just merely a story of love, it was the story of their life. Despite how close I were was my grandparents, this was the kind of conversation we never really had when I was a child, and I was truly grateful they are willing to open up to me the way they did.

but of course, 爷爷奶奶，如果你在读我的博客，我是你们最大的粉丝；D (Grandma and grandpa, if you are reading my blog, I just wanna say I'm YOUR biggest fans!)

I did not get much as far as applicable advices are concerned, but what I gained today is invaluable. I was able to make a personal connection with people that I normally don't get a chance to talk to. Learning different perspectives and making connections with all kinds of individuals happens to be my favorite thing to do.

And as for what I've learned about my future love life? Even though I don't exactly agree with the generally conservative values held by the elderly couples today, I guess the take home message is clear: People in our life will come and go, if we continue to self improve, and continue to make our own life better, the right people will come at the right moment.

Even though mine barely got started, I can sense my love life is gonna be kind of a wild ride. But, I am sure now, as I continue to become more self confident, during this rejection challenge and beyond, when the right girl(s) come, I will be bold and assertive enough to do the right things.

Day 7: Getting someone to buy me alcohol

Today was going to be the big day! FIRST REJECTION VIDEO SHOOTING DAY!

but nope... it just wasn't my day.

My first sign of bad luck came at a convenience store. I tried to get a some change for a ten, not only did he refuse, he started to act really rude to me. He claimed that I was bugging him and he doesn't have the "fucking" change for me. I know businesses in Scarborough in general lack customer service, or general manners as a matter of fact, but i really never realized how shitty my area is until recently.

So, I got my first "rejection" of the day out of the way rather unconventionally(or conventionally, depends on how you look at it.) before I even started today's challenge. But having done the rejection challenge for a week now, I wasn't rattled at all by such blunt rudeness. I calmly told him he shouldn't be rude to customers and walked away.

I suited up and got my props ready, my camera ready and my extremely awesome camerawoman ready to go in Fairview Mall. But the issue of legality was sudddenly brought up by one of the store owners. I consulted the mall administration and it turns out we are not allowed to videotape in the mall.

BOOHOO...

So I ended up job hunting the rest of the way in fairview mall. But rest assured, I will do the exact same challenge tomorrow in the streets of downtown! I've promised to step it up a notch in the EPIC factor for my first video, and I will deliver in that promise.:P




Instead of the video challenge, I did an alternate challenge, and this one is courtesy of Wendy. I decided to head over an LCBO, pretend that I forgot my ID, and try to get one of the customers to buy me alcohol! (I am 19, so I am just legal to buy alcohol in Toronto. But of course, given how youthful I look, most people would think I am trying to get alcohol underage)

I picked a 355ml can of beer and asked the old Asian guy beside me if I he could buy it for me. He didn't even dare to look at me in the eyes and just kept saying "no".

I thought it was just one guy who refused me like that. But it turns out everyone reacted to this the exact same way. I even offered to pay a guy double the price of the beer if he bought it for me. But all I got the rest of the way was a "no", with minimal eye contact. I guess people are just as afraid of rejecting absurd requests as they are scared of getting rejected.

However, what happened next surprised me quite a bit.

I saw a young black guy with headphones on walking down the store with his own liquor. When I asked him to buy me the beer, he simply took it without saying a thing and headed over the cash. I tried to discretely hand him my money but he refused me. I quietly walked down the aisle and waited at the entrance.

When the cashier saw him with the beer. He immediately accused the guy that he was trying to get someone else the beer because he saw me handing him the money.

"I saw that guy going around the store trying to get someone to buy him beer. I don't think you can do that man."

The poor guy looked scared and started to look for me. I hesitated for a sec before I decided to step in.

"It's cool, I found my ID!" I told the cashier. Then I looked over the guy and smiled and said, "thanks anyways bro."

I proceeded to explain to both of them about the rejection challenge and everybody in the store cracked up.

 "I knew something was up when you are asking so non-chalantly in the store," the black guy told me. "But you got me good bro."

I walked out of the store smiling. I guess I was TOO confident this time!

But hey, another day, another rejection! Time to enjoy my Bluejays game with my beer!

Day 5: Haggling in the mall(feat. MY DAD!)

First time doing a challenge with someone else today and it happens to be be my dad! Yes, I'm so damn cool. haha

 

 

Of course, we chose to do the total Asian thing: haggling! 

The tough part about today's challenge is to actually be persistent. We are not just gonna stop at the first rejection. We both know that there is no way stores in the mall would offer extra discounts on their items. But we still have to try and carry on the hangling, without testing their patience too much. 

1. Tim Hortons

Ordered two small ice caps and the total came to $3.98. The cashier was an Asian guy who clearly just got hired. He looked really scared when I asked for a discount, especially when I pretended to exchange a look of shock with my dad at the price. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: (*exchanged a look with my dad) Can we get a discount on the ice caps? 

Cashier: Sorry, this decision isn't up to me, but I can offer you a combo

Me: But we want a discount on only the two ice cap though.

Cashier: I'm sorry, but try the combo(stuttering quite a bit)

Me: (I was about to say, 'can I talk to the manager, but the poor guy was clearly scared and this is my first hangling attempt') Oh really? not even a 20 percent discount? 

Cashier: Sorry

Me: Alright, it's fine.

Of couse, we got the Ice Capp. Nobody can resist that shit.

 

2. Aeropostale 

This was my best haggling attempt. The sales rep was a brown dude around my age, he seems like a pretty nice and chill guy, so I messed around with him a bit. It was a pair of orange shorts being sold at 20 bucks. I asked him if I can have it for 10 bucks. I don't know why I was so confident at this point when obviously I was just messing around. This was nearing the end of our conversations, my body language is starting to look real good.

Me: Look bro, I really do want that pair of pants. But you are giving me a tough time here man. I thought I could have it for 10 and now I would compromise for 16. But you still can't give me it? (I said it in a light-hearted tone of course)

Sales Rep: Sorry man. If you really wanna push it, go to the cash and see what they can do.

Me: Tough job being a sales rep eh? *smiles
Sales Rep: *chuckles

It was like a 2 min long conversation and I forgot all the details, but I REALLY wished I recorded this one, because this is the first time I felt like I put my personality into a challenge even in the face of rejection by a total stranger.

 

3. Dollarama

When I went into Dollarama with my dad. I just started cracking up. Nothing shows total cheapness than haggling for items in a dollar store. I kept thinking of that Russel Peters punchline as we waited in line. When I asked the lady if we could get a discount because we got so many items, she clearly looked ticked off. She just said "no, we are not allowed" in a really dry tone. It seemed like she dealt with crazies like us way too many times. Because of her sturn attitude and the huge line. We dropped the haggling and left.
 

4. Laura Secord

We got two small packages of candy and went to cash. The total rang up to $9.02.

Me: Can we have it for five?

Cashier: No, all sales are final, unless you have a coupon

Me: Okay, let's compromise, how about 7?

Cashier: Sorry, we really can't offer any discounts

Dad: Not even a dollar?
Me: Yeah, just give us for 8 bucks and we have a deal
Cashier: It's 9 bucks.
Dad: That means we got a 2 cent discount?

Cashier: Yeah, from the government *rolled her eyes

 

5. PJ's Pets

One of the employees was holding a parrot named Rena on her fingers. She told me she is just a baby and will learn to talk when she gets older. She was being sold at $950. I asked the employee if I can have her for $600. Of course the employee smiled at me and said no. I started to feel really bad at that point in haggling for a cheaper price on that adorable parrot, especially since I have no genuine intentions of owning her. So I just smiled and asked if I could pet her. 

If I had the money, I'd definitely buy her though. And then I'll teach her to haggle for me. That would be just friggin amazing, bahaha.

(I REALLY WISH I TOOK A PICTURE OF THAT ADORABLE PARROT, BUT AT THIS POINT MY PHONE WAS OUT AGAIN...GAH....)

6. International Grill

I didn't eat lunch and I was legitly looking for food at this point. So I thought I might as well try my luck at haggling at the food court. I saw this place called International Grill with little customers offering a 7.99 special. I told the lady I would take it for 8 with no tax. She told me to asked the boss. He gave me a look of relunctance when I told him that's all the money I have( I know, lame excuse and really poor way to haggle, but hey I was hungry okay?)and actually sold it to me! 

This place actually serves the best tasting food in the STC food court.That shrimp and chicken leg was pretty damn delicious. I'd recommend that $7.99 special to anyone. Don't haggle with the poor owner like I did please; This place needs business and they deserve it. :)

 

My dad was a pretty notorious haggler in China, but he was awfully quiet today. He blamed his lack of confidence in English, but I know it's because he knew we are gonna get rejected for sure. I wasn't too keen either today. I actually expected myself to mess around with the sales reps a bit more without testing their patience, but my sense of humour still run dry when I'm in a position of vulnerability. I guess it's just something I have to constantly work on.

 

 

AND... ONTO TOMORROW!

Day 4: The Social Validation Survey

The damage done yesterday is hard to recover from. I will try to make another sincere personal apology to her soon. Everything that led up to what I was going to yesterday suggest that I was going to use her as a public gimmick, and she happens to a person that loath being used.

I will be quite honest, I did let ambitions go over my head for a bit in the planning stages of things. But after careful considerations, I was about to put a sincere personal effort in trying to flatter a friend, with zero intentions of putting anything in the public spotlight if she's not comfortable. But of course, she did not feel that way, and I am definitely guilty in making her feel the way she felt.

But such as life. We make mistakes and we can't take those mistakes define who we are. Life goes on, and my rejection challenge shall continue. 

For today's challenge, I went to wal-mart and asked people in survey style about their opinions on me ( of course, they don't know me, so technically I should not get offended by any of their comments, but of course, we know that's not the case for most of us).

Once again, I "shopped" around Walmart for a few minutes before I mastered up the courage to start my challenge. This is actually the first one I asked completely random strangers. So I guess it's a tad more difficult than the previous ones

Here is how I carried out all the conversations:

Me: Hi Excuse me, do you have a minute?
Shopper: Yes?
Me: I am conducting a survey and it's just three questions.

I then proceeded to ask people to say something nice about me, something bad about me, and last but not least, rate me out of ten in terms of my appearance.

Most people looked startled and then immediately started smiling when I asked the first question. and alot of them laughed when I asked them to rate me out of ten. I tried to small talk a little bit during the conversation and generally, because of the kind of questions I was asking, the overall mood of those conversations were really lighthearted.

My survey chart with my "pretty" handwriting

And of course, here is the survey result:

Percentage of  people that rejected the survey : 6

Compliments: My shirt, my hair, my voice, I'm nice, I'm brandy, I'm friendly, I'm enthusiatic, I'm young

Criticisms:  I'm disturbing her, popping out randomly, I'm short, I'm thin, I'm awkward, not mature, my shirt, my earring,

Average Score on my looks out of 10: 7.5(Highest 10, Lowest 6)

My Observations + My Thoughts and feelings:

-Someone actually rejected me when I asked her to help me take a photo, first time this ever happened in my life haha

 -Most people are nice to strangers if they have some time.They are usually very hesitant to say bad things about you.

 -I am actually a very shallow person, I actually felt a bit offended when a girl gave me a 6, haha.

-I am probably closer to 6 than an 8. Strangers are generally nicer to you and rate you higher. (But I think I'm a ten, and that's all that matters ;D)

-I really need to start working out.

-My abercombie plaid shirt is pretty damn nice

-One of the person I asked was a cute girl with a really attractive smile gave me a seven, and complimented on my shirt, If you are that girl in wal-mart and is reading this blog, ya know...call me. ;D

For tomorrow's challenge, I will try to produce my very first rejection challenge video using whatever material I capture from the cameras. So if the updates comes late, it's only because you are gonna be alot more entertained ;D

I felt alot better in the evening, you can probably see that I was alot more cheerful in this vlog than the first one.

Day 3- Life Lessons and a public apology(failed promposal)

To keep the parties involved in this post protected, I will try to keep this as vague as possible. If you ask me personally about this, I will only disclose as much information as I feel comfortable with. Thank you.

I knew I was in for a learning experience when I signed up for this rejection challenge. But I never knew I would learn so much in one day, and in the way I did.

I learned that high school things should have been done in high school. I learned that the difference between a perfect idea and the worst outcome is just one misunderstanding away. And in a cruelly ironic fashion, I also learned the take home message of rejection challenge: we get rejected for what we do, not for who we are.

I "succeeded" in my challenge by getting rejected in the most devastating way possible. But in the meantime, I managed to hurt someone I cared about, and breached the trust of a friend.

I can't blame her at all for feeling the way she did. If I was in her shoes, and saw the way I talked about the first two challenges out in public(especially the mention of hidden cameras), and this video on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151606245390781 (I left things unattended, and cruel consequence awaited) , I would feel the exact same way. I would think I was being used and violated, by someone she thought she trusted.

As a friend, as a man and as a human being, I'd like to make the most sincere public apology to her for causing this misunderstanding. I was devastated to find out the result of my actions, and I take full responsibility for this result. I will try my best to explain my thoughts and intentions when she cools off, but I don't expect her to accept that apology, and she has no reasons to.

The rejection challenge will go on. But I will always take what happened today to remind me to keep to the true intentions of this rejection challenge: as a self development project that will bring forth my best self.

 The difference between flattering a friend, and hurting a friend, is often just one misunderstanding away.

Day 2: Applying to be the next Victoria Secret Model (Weird Job hunting)

Today's challenge is alot tougher than yesterday's and my enthusiasm wasn't the greatest when I entered STC in the evening. Given that this is the second straight day I'm doing a challenge all by myself, and the fact that crazy shit would have been far more hilirious if there's more people watching. To be honest, the thought "giving up" did flash through my head once or twice. But of course, that is quickly dismissed. I have 1500 views and 55 subcribers on my youtube channel, each one of those people are there to hold me accountable!

I loitered in Jack Jones for 5 minutes pretending to shop before I finally mustered up the courage to ask the manager. But when I finally did things went alot better than I thought. Originally, I thought I wouldn't be able to pull it off with a straight face, but my composure and confidence even surprised myself.

The lady in Jack and Jones explained to me patiently why they currently aren't looking to hire live mannequins. I asked her if she would reconsider when I get more deezed up in the summer, she smiled and told me maybe.

For the next two stores, I tried to use my iphone as a hidden camera. I put it in the strap of my backpack. Turns out it was too far to the side. The audio is pretty good but unfortunately you can't see the manager. I will do what Jia did and hang my iphone on my neck for my future videos!



After those two failed attempts to capture my rejections. I went to Mcdonalds if I can be a server and I went to Tim Hortons and ask if I can be a manager(That manager was super rude to me when I was actually looking for a job last year so that was a sort of a troll attempt). Both were met with a resounding "NO SORRY".

At this point I am starting to become real confident. Those rejections did not hurt me at all despite how cold they were, and I decided to try something real gutsy.

Yes, I went into Victoria Secret and tried to apply to become the next Victoria Secret Model.

The manager was a middle aged Asian lady and here is how the conversation went.

Me: Hi, I am wondering how do I apply to become the next Victoria Secret Model?
Manager(Wasn't startled at all): Oh, for that, you have to go to the Victoria Secret Head Quarters and apply there. Then there is a selection process and there will be several interviews.
Me: So they actually hire cute guys like me?
Manager: Unfortunately not, but we do hire guys for stock
Me: That's unfortunate, cause I was really looking forward to this job

My dreams of modeling as a hot babe in panties has been dashed, but my challenge today succeeded in a big way. :)

Day 2: (Weird) Job Hunting

1:20pm

Wendy informed me she can't go with me today in the morning, can't say I wasn't disappointed. I felt kinda dead and I actually ended up taking another nap and I never really got my day started til 1pm. This kind of behaviour is reminenscent of what I've done when I was depressed and I know this is not the way to go. If I didn't get so many people keeping me accountable now, I probably would have given up on Day 2. So once again, thank you everyone for watching my video and reading this blog!

I will probably head out in a bit to do a bit more planning for my challenge on Day 3(like I've mentioned before, this one got quite a bit more personal significance to me). Then I'll head straight to scarborough town centre to do my job hunting. This 2nd challenge is quite a bit tougher than the one yesterday. So we'll see how this goes!