On top of my 100 day rejection challenge, I also dedicated myself to a consistent workout program this summer. My issue has always been consistency. But now depression is a thing of the past. I have no excuses to not get my ass to the gym everyday.
Of course, by telling you guys about working out, I also hope you guys would keep me accountable for this as well. My blog is getting a consistent 200-300 page views a day and I have yet to make my first video! Having so many people just reading what I'm doing gives me the extra motivation, so thank you guys once again!
For today's challenge, I decided to find a workout buddy. However, not just anybody in the gym, I will approach the biggest muscle guy there! However, what happened today is a honest reminder that I have a long way to go in developing social confidence. I guess approaching the biggest guy in the gym is the equivalent of approaching the hottest girl in the bar. Today's challenge turned out to be the toughest one to date!
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| As you may have noticed, I am probably quite the heavyweight at the gym |
The nerves began to appear even while I was still working out. Just thinking about what I was about to do made my stomach turn. I guess I am just really not confident and self-conscious when it comes to approaching bigger guys. I think this irrational fear stems all the way back to when I first began playing basketball. Always being the smallest guy on the court means that I am often the victim of ridicule, exclusion and bullying. I remember how I always wanted to be treated like an equal on the basketball court, but that didn't happen til...well... much later. (THANKS ALOT PUBERTY...YOU ARRIVED QUITE FASHIONABLY LATE ).
When I spotted this huge Asian dude with tats all over his arms, the nerves got worse. I ended up observing his workout routine and pretended to work out and stretch for twenty minutes. I learned a big lesson here too. The longer you hesitate and put it off, the worse it gets!
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| Oh yes, I also need to get better at ball. It's sad how this is the sport I've played since middle school yet I still suck |
I ended up going upstairs to watch a game of basketball to calm myself down a bit. At that point, I made up my mind. I have to go through with this. No matter how bad of a shape I am mentally today, I will keep calm and carry...err get rejected I mean.
"LET'S DO THIS TERRY. THE GUY MAY BE DOUBLE MY SIZE, BUT NO, HE WILL NOT BEAT ME UP BECAUSE I ASKED HIM A QUESTION" *breathes
So I finally approached him while he was doing some bicep curls. He signaled for me to wait up when I went up to talk to him. When I finally got a chance to speak,my mind went blank and words just flowed out of my mouth .
"Hey, I saw you are pretty deezed up here, I'm wondering if you can be my workout buddy?"
He looked startled for a sec.
"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by workout buddy?"
I really wanted to leave at that point, but he asked me a question, now I have to explain things...and when I'm nervous, things just doesn't come out of my mouth right.
"Like, ummm, we can go work out together at a time..and um stuff."
"I iunno man, I don't exactly have a fixed workout schedule."
He was the nicest guy. He went on to give me some advices on how to bulk up. But during the whole conversation, I just wanted to leave. Over the last ten days, I figured that a direct rejection was not the scariest thing, but to carry on with a conversation when you know you are full of shit. I am HORRIFIC at being articulate and confident when I'm in a position of vulnerability, and it is definitely something I need to continuously work on.
Today I'll be doing some shooting for the first video at Derek's. I hope I got much better on camera since that awkward pitch video. I guess we shall all find out soon. :)
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